Kitsch-n-Sync.com - A London based Fashion, Beauty, Slimming World and Lifestyle Blog.

I've just returned from another weigh-in and am a little disheartened with a piddly half a pound loss.

I’d really made an effort to keep on track this week. I walked lots and food optimised the majority of the time.

...Well, aside enjoying a Cadbury’s Oreo chocolate bar to accompany a Netflix marathon of “Stranger Things” and refusing to switch deliciously fattening buttery goodness for luminous yellow chemical based gunk on my HE wholemeal toast.

You have to keep some luxuries huh?!

I have also been going at it like a mad woman on my new home cross trainer.

Determined for it not to become another fitness related novelty destined for life as a clothes horse before being listed on Gumtree at a 98% discount, I’ve been making efforts to find time to jump on and actually use it.

So much so I gave myself a bad case of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) and was walking around like the star of “Anal Angels 6” for the best part of two days afterwards. That’ll teach me for not warming up first after sitting on my arse for the best part of six months.

But never mind using it for it’s intended purpose - I reckon the manufactures are missing a trick with their marketing by not mentioning the free workout included in order to rig the blasted thing up!

My friend Courtney and I - whom is far more patient and actually bothers to read instructions before pulling every nut and bolt flying from the blister packs across various corners of the room - set about putting it together.

Honestly, I think rebuilding a 1:1 scale replica of the Titanic with my limited Ikea toolbox would’ve been an easier feat.

In theory all that needed adding to the ready built magnetic wheel mechanism was the arms, digital display and foot paddles but the poorly worded instruction manual with a variant of shoddily labelled screws, nuts and bolts of fractionally different sizes made it a right pain.

Thankfully with Courtney’s patience and with me being about as helpful as a chocolate teapot playing DJ finding music to listen to whilst we got our build on, we (Courtney) managed to eventually put it together. We were so zonked out by the end of it (I’ve got a cheek considering the most I did was skip track-to-track between cheesy 90’s tunes!) - that it got shifted to one side and not actually used until the following day.

I wouldn’t mind but the blurb of the machine online prided itself on it’s simple one-man set up. Perhaps the battery in their bluetooth keyboard ran out before they could add …if you’re an octopus.

Now it’s up and running it’s actually an impressive bit of kit. You can set your workout via time, distance, calories or fat burned on a nifty digital display.

There’s 8 different resistance levels and a handy tablet holder, which makes it easier to keep occupied with the assistance of catch-up TV or Spotify accessible on your iPad a finger swipe away. (You can follow me and said shite 90’s playlists on Spotify here if you like!)

Food wise I made nothing of note; a veggie biryani that I added too much spice after tapping the bottom of the chilli jar with the coagulated ground mix refusing to budge. After a few more heavy handed bonks the entire contents flew out and into the pain resulting in the spiciest Indian dish this side of Mumbai.

I also made some skinless jerk chicken with salad which is one of my Slimming World no-fuss go to's. Most of my lunches have been healthy salads too, although admittedly they were often washed down with calorific iced lattes which was possibly detrimental to this weeks result.

The only foreseeable obstacle for the coming week is that I’m off to one of those fancy sofa cinemas that include snacks with the price of the ticket. Now being a tight-fisted mare who likes to get my money’s worth, I’m not banking on my willpower to ignore unlimited nachos, popcorn, pick ’n’ mix and fizzy drinks in favour of bringing my own apple and a warm bottle of water.

I’m also going toying with the idea of attempting a vegetarian diet for the next 7 days to see if that makes any difference to my loss or overall wellbeing.

...I guess I’ll find out next week!

I didn’t get the opportunity to type up last weeks weigh in post - sorry! I only managed a measly 1.5lb loss anyway. I say only as most newbies make a decent dent their first week back on plan. I did lose five pounds in membership fees though! Still, I mustn’t grumble, a loss is a loss in right direction huh?

This week was a little better with 2.5lb off which I will happily take after ambitiously declaring that I’m going to "go for three" when asked my aim for the week ahead.

Is it an unwritten rule everyone has to say 2lb when that question’s asked? No one ever seems to say any more or less than 2lb? “Just a loss” crops up often, but that's usually met with the consultant barking back with steam bellowing out of their ears that they need an "actual number to put in the system please!!"

The scales were rather generous to me this week considering TGI Friday’s was paid an impromptu visit after we drove past and realised we haven’t eaten all the food groups smothered in Jack Daniel’s sauce for a while.

Mind you, there was no danger in piling on the pounds necking back those TGI's cocktails let me tell you!

I ordered a cucumber gin concoction (cucumber - speed food, tick!) that was listed in the cocktail menu priced up at £6.80. Having taken a shine to gin of late I was looking forward to enjoying a drink similar to the enticing image displayed in the drinks menu.

Well, when the ruddy thing arrived there was literally two squirts of liquid - if that - in the martini glass. I know those glasses aren’t huge anyway but it literally arrived half full - or half empty if you're a pessimist/greedy cow like me.

I wish I was wildly exaggerating for comedic value for this post but nope! The waitress had the audacity to plonk the glass below as is, on the table with the intention of charging me (quite extortionately given the ingredients) for the privilege.

I’ve read one too many food tampering horror stories in Take A Break magazine over the years to go about complaining in restaurants willynilly. Particularly before the food has arrived. I only tend to grumble if the experience is particularly dire or there is just cause to have a whinge, and on this occasion the evidence was in my favour that there was.

The server, who in all fairness looked like she’d just been separated from the umbilical cord so had yet acquired the life skills needed to engage with other humans, said: “I fink it’s cos dare iz a lot ov alcohol in dat one, itz menta be small lyke dat I fink. It duz luk strong doe!”

Firstly, how does a drink "look strong" unless Jason Momoa's bench pressing 100KGs on it, or it's simultaneously being used as paint stripper to remove TGI's hideous Americana themed decor off the walls. And secondly, why not just admit the error? If it's meant to look like that then someone needs to tell the prop assistant during the photoshoot for the drinks menu, as in it's current form I'm quietly confident it's breaching a few points under the Trade Descriptions Act.

“Sorry,” I butted in "I know it isn't your fault as you didn’t make it, but I am not paying nearly £7 for that"

Now I wasn't pedantic enough to bothering mentioning the tiny detail that there was no sign of the sprig of mint as advertised in the menu either…but there was no sprig of mint as advertised in the menu either!!

I often drink in the City, so I know an overpriced cocktail when I see one, but at least the bars of Liverpool Street have the decency to give the illusion of grandeur with uprooted plant life sticking out the glass.

To be honest I should have learned my lesson years ago. TGI’s for some reason was always the restaurant of choice for our teenage birthday celebrations amongst my group of friends.

I recall even back then, the “Ultimate” cocktails consisted of glass bowls filled with so much ice that I'm pretty sure an Eskimo would shake their head disapprovingly and say that's a bit much!

Almost a tenner a time to boot too! In hindsight that cash could have kept me in One2One PAYG credit or garish Stargazer eyeshadow palettes instead.

Anyway, I sent the drink back, got the ~~cocktail~~ shot deducted from the bill and settled for a diet coke instead. That’ll teach me.

Avoiding desert in TGI's in fear of being given a TicTac in place of a sundae, we opted to grab a box of Krispy Kreme on our way home instead where I managed to polish off three donuts.

So yeah, 2.5lb loss sees me alright with all things considered.

I also bought an elliptical trainer for use at home, but more on that next week…

I missed my first weigh-in!

In my efforts to be healthy I bought a low calorie ready meal for a quick lunch and gobbled it unknowing the blasted thing was two days out of date.

Well you can probably guess the rest; confined to the bed clutching my tummy, feeling sorry for myself and contemplating the merits of suing Tesco’s for nearly bumping me off by flogging a bacterial village alongside my Healthy Living Malaysian curry.

I will say one thing in the defence of frozen chips, crisps and chocolate - you don’t have to worry about their short shelf life and it’s consequences!

To be completely honest, had I been able to attend I wouldn’t have expected the drastic loss most have their first week on plan anyway.

I was relatively on track the majority of the week, but attended a festival at the weekend where I possibly consumed my weekly syn intake in one day on cider alone. I’m hopeful the hours of dancing restored some balance, but I had also spontaneously eaten out at Bryon Burger midweek after walking past and accidentally falling inside.

Exercise wise I picked up where I left off with my favourite yoga program. Well, I say picked up where I left off, it’s amazing how quickly your body becomes un-used to exercise.

I had previously moved onto the intermediate level but after finding some of the poses a struggle, I’ve admitted defeat and resorted back to beginners again which has dented my chakra somewhat!

Food-wise I cooked some lovely dinners; the Slimming World Katsu Curry which tastes identical to Wagamamas and felt like a real treat. I do add syns for the ease of using microwavable rice instead of cooking my own though, as I seem capable of only pouring out rice in quantities enough to feed the whole of Africa for a year.

I also tried the Joojeh kebabs which are featured in the most recent Slimming World magazine. (Pictured above)

These were okay, although I’m not sure the soaked saffron and overnight yoghurt marinade brought anything to the table aside a load of pissing about 24 hours before hand. I’d probably ignore that step if I were to make them again.

The week ahead see’s no barriers aside an erratic day Wednesday which could prove problematic, but there shouldn’t be many excuses. I’ll try my best to stick at it and will be throwing myself straight back into the world of dogging...

…of the downward facing, yogi kind of course!

Since Easter my big plan to go it alone without the support of attending a Slimming World group has fallen flat on it’s arse. And talking of arses, mine has gotten bigger.

Whilst I find making time to attend the sessions a bind, I do feel I need that weekly weigh-in to offer some accountability for my greedy mid-week actions.

Besides, I’m sick of wandering into Topshop and eyeing up a rail of pretty clothes only to waltz out again with a face like a grieving cod because I can only find stock up to a size 12. What follows is a counterproductive strop to a bakery for a slice of cake whilst I seriously contemplate the merits of accessorising the two-man tent in the window of Mountain Warehouse.

The main gripe I have with the plan - aside the once a week gathering to hear Mrs Ramsbottoms’ 20 minute explanation for gobbling 18 fry ups the past week - is Slimming Worlds tendency to need most low or syn free recipes, time consumingly cooked from scratch. I appreciate this issue of convenience has been mildly addressed in the form of Iceland exclusive ready meals, which to be frank taste about as palatable as the underside of a tramps fingernail.

I do enjoy cooking but after a long day the last thing I can be bothered to do is spend 60 minutes in the kitchen prepping a meal that I’m already ravenous for, not to mention later tackle the stack of washing up that’s left behind. So, despite spending a small fortune on my meal plans' ingredients for the week, I find myself reaching for the take-out menus because I’m a lazy oaf.

Seasoned Slimming Worlders’ advice to tackle this is to precook meals on a Sunday for the days ahead. This is all well and good if you don’t have a life outside of your kitchen, but honestly - who has the time (or wants to?) spend a quarter of their weekend a slave to the oven?!

Perhaps these are the kind of excuses that often sees me failing; it’s not as though I have snotty faced, shit machine yelling “Mummmm” baying for my attention as an excusable distraction. (Although a 30-something fiancé can be as equally demanding.)

Other excuses I’ve conjured up is blaming the recent piss awful weather. Refusing to consume a summer salad on an overcast day. Torrential downpours and thunderstorms giving me the perfect excuse to shy away from a workout, instead snuggling under a duvet shovelling a bag of Minstrels into my gob. Never mind the fact that I don’t want to walk to the sports centre in the rain wearing puddle absorbing Nike Juvenile’s - trainers that I had ironically bought specifically for use in the gym!

So, for my trillionth attempted I’m going back to Slimming World and I’m going to try and find the time to blog the journey - for my own accountability than for anything else.

I know Slimming World works if you stick to it as I have done well following food optimisation in the past. I just need to have a root around to find that will power again...

…and perhaps some ear plugs to drown out Mrs Ramsbottom.

Deciding to go it alone with Slimming World over the Easter bank holiday weekend has been promptly filed in the "silly decisions” folder alongside the time I thought a string vest/neon bra combo was an acceptable night out outfit.

Fortunately, I had the perfect excuse for all those empty chocolate wrappers at my feet come Monday morning, which were not from a weekend of over indulgence and were definitely just blown into the house by storm Katie...

I know, I know - about as believable as a bloke coming back from the dead after 3 days.

I’m particularly frustrated as I’d been really good up until Thursday night where an impromptu trip to the Wetherspoons laid the foundation for a long weekend of syn-filled gluttony.

I had every good intention of incorporating the 4 day break with some form of mild exercise or other; the all-day task of sorting through my bulging wardrobes, straightening out the garden, taking the dogs on a long walk through Epping Forest and washing my bastard, dust collecting windows for the 60 millionth time this year.

I was feeling enthusiastic and positive after obliterating my daily step target 6 days in a row on the Fitbit. I’d even frequented the gym a few times, ate quite well and felt smug that I’d actually managed to shed 4lb in under a week.

Although I’ve not hopped on the scales since as I fear it won’t just be Christ that’s risen this weekend.

Then my little Chihuahua Boo became poorly. Resulting in all plans being put on hold, instead frantically hunting for an out of hours veterinary surgery to give him the once over.

Who knew that having someone with a few letters after their name squeeze your pets tummy and shove a thermometer up his arse would cost the same as a deposit on a 4 bedroom house!?!

Thankfully, Boo’s absolutely fine (...my bank account on the other hand) but this unplanned trip to the doggy doctors put paid to my more active intentions, as it did cooking that healthy quinoa bullshit I was very much looking forward to for tea...

Then there was the bi-polar weather of course, which went from picturesque English springtime to torrential rain in a matter of minutes. I swear us Brits are the only people in the world who need to carry sunblock, woolly hats and umbrellas simultaneously. But hey, it wouldn’t be a British Bank holiday without a little fall of rain.

So instead the planned days out were mostly days in, cooing over my dog like an over protective parent and snacking unnecessarily on chocolate.

Chocolate that I had gotten strictly for my Easter mantelpiece display which of course found it’s way into my weak willed gob.

Definitely not the egg-excise I had intended ...kaboom-tish.

One positive is that I did enjoyed a lovely Japanese take out meal and have managed to find a Slimming World replica which surprisingly doesn’t taste like soggy cardboard! I’ll share the recipe later in the week.

Hope you had a wonderful Easter break!

As you can probably tell by my lack of updates, attending Slimming World meetings has taken somewhat of a back seat. This is mostly due to the fact that the new intake of post-Christmas slimmers seem to have stuck around for a lot longer than usual, resulting in the “image therapy” sessions dragging on way longer then the 30-ish minutes I was previously accustomed to.

For someone who conscientiously doesn’t eat before weigh-in (every little helps), sitting hungry in a freezing church crypt for well over an hour whilst certain members recount - in more thorough detail than a gynaecology exam - absolutely everything that’s passed their lips the past 7 days, made the effort of attending each week a laborious chore.

I appreciate for some, Slimming World meetings are as much of a social gathering as they are a weight loss tool but my decision to doink it on the head came about when a rotund lady who’s not yet acquired a book of shiny stickers to qualify her as the resident doll-er out-er of advice, had gotten comfortable on her weekly soap box of “Well, what you should do is…”

Now I’m more than happy to take advice from successful or progressing slimmers but there’s nowt worse than being dictated to by someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Particularly when they're butting in after every persons turn. I don’t pay a fiver to have an Evans clad know-it-all passive aggressively wag their chubby, sovereign-ringed finger around, interrupting the consultant every 2 minutes with her virtuous take on…well…every-ruddy-thing.

To be fair I think most groups have a character like this but being British we quietly entertain it or roll our eyes discreetly to other kindred spirits who also acknowledge the fact that some of us have homes to go to.

To cut a long story short, it was starting to take up too much of my Monday evenings with the sessions rolling on for far too long.

I have still persevered with cooking “The Slimming World Way” mind. Buying the magazine, following my favourite SW blogs for recipes and updates, as well as dragging myself to the gym.

...Although I’ve equally been generous with my share of sweet treats, eating out often and being dismissive when ordering calorie heavy cocktails, safe in the knowledge I won’t be answerable to anyone on the scales once the weekend has rolled over.

I bit the bullet and weighed myself today and surprisingly have managed to maintain a steady weight, albeit not the weight I want to be, but at least I haven’t put on as I had feared.

And I celebrated this brilliant news with a custard donut.

I noticed Actifry’s were repeatedly mentioned on my favourite blogs as a great addition to your kitchen arsenal if you're following the Slimming World plan. I'd had one tucked in my Amazon wishlist for some time, but was always dubious it was going to join the rest of the kitchen gadgets stashed away after being used just the once. I bought a jug blender & a juicer then decided both were too bulky for my worktop so swapped them for a Nutri-bullet which quickly joined the steamer and spiriliser in the cupboard after learning juicing fruit is a syn-tastic Slimming World no-no.

I decided to finally pick one up when I spotted it on offer in Tesco for eighty quid.

BEST. DECISION. EVER.

I’ve now had it for around 2 months and whilst my Actifry recipe repertoire hasn’t stretched further than roast potatoes or chips, I don’t mind because it makes the latter so bloody well.

I think a big catalyst of my initial weight gain wasn’t from chocolate or cakes (custard donuts aside) but bizarrely due to my love of carb heavy potatoes. For me they make up the best part of a meal; chipped, roasted, mashed, boiled or even fully dressed in their jackets for a not-so-light lunchtime meal. If I’m in a restaurant and chips are on the menu I’ll order them. In fact, just last weekend in a restaurant with friends I sensibly ordered a ceaser salad but ordered a bowl of chips unnecessarily on the side. I think I went through my entire time at secondary school buying them at least 3 times a week.

Perhaps I was a chip in a previous life.

I’ve never been one to cut out carbs with faddy diets, I know it’s something I could never upkeep, so I was very happy to discover when initially joining SW that with a few tweeks to the cooking method, potatoes qualified as a free food on the plan. Only thing is, they never quite tasted the same. You can’t compare crispy spuds roasted in oil with the dry, barely palatable SW variety. Home made chips from potatoes, par-boiled then baked in Fry-Light - whilst just okay - are never as deliciously satisfying as the onion vinegar soaked offerings from the local chippy.

However, I think the Actifry provides a solution!

Using chipped potatoes with a small spoonful of vegetable oil makes for thee most perfect, healthier versions of as-close-to-chip-shop-chips ever after just 40 minutes. They’re not dry like the oven equivalent and possibly due to the ever turning motion of the Actifry's ladle are evenly crisp on the outside and soft & fluffy on the inside.

My preference is to make them using baking potatoes, even though SW often recommended floury tats like King Edwards (which I find break up in the gadget too easily).

Another tip I’ve discovered is washing your potatoes thoroughly after slicing them to get rid of the starch, then pat dry with kitchen towel before you add them to the machine seems to assist them in becoming crispy & golden.

Actifry chips are so quick and easy to do which is a welcomed luxury when following a plan that often requires time consuming recipes to be made from scratch.

So, I’m back and fully focused on Slimming World although I’ll now be weighing myself at home for the time being. Whenever this'll work remains to be seen, especially with no shiny stickers or fancy awards for encouragement ...but at least I'll be free from the ear ache of my groups resident braggart - so every cloud!

Do you own an Actify? Have you tried or spotted any good Slimming World Actifry recipes?